Finding Balance: Marriage or Relationships and Parenting
Marriage and parenting are two of the most rewarding yet demanding relationships in our lives. When combined, they can create a whirlwind of joy, frustration, and growth. Balancing the needs of your spouse while raising children is no easy task—it requires communication, patience, and realistic expectations.
Here’s how to navigate this complex dynamic and keep your relationships thriving.
1. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, but it becomes even more critical when you’re juggling marriage and parenting. Regularly check in with your partner about their needs, feelings, and expectations, and make this a priority! Ask questions like:
• “What’s been challenging for you this week?”
• “How can I support you more?”
• “Are there things we need to adjust in how we’re handling our time?”
By creating a safe space to talk, you can tackle issues together before they become bigger problems.
2. Set Realistic Expectations
The reality is that marriage will look different during the parenting years, especially when your kids are young. Date nights tend to be less frequent, conversations get interrupted, and shared responsibilities shift.
Rather than aiming for perfection, focus on what’s possible in your current situation. For example:
• If weekly date nights are unrealistic, aim for one meaningful connection moment each day, like having a snack together after the kids are in bed.
• Accept that some chores or projects might take longer to complete, and prioritize teamwork over speed.
3. Prioritize Quality Time Together
It’s easy to fall into the trap of putting your relationship on the back burner while focusing on your kids. However, nurturing your marriage is essential not only for you and your partner, but also for your kids.
Make time for each other, even if it’s small moments like:
• Watching a favorite show together after bedtime.
• Exchange a quick neck or back massage.
• Scheduling a lunch date while they’re at school or daycare.
Try to prioritize regular date nights and set up your babysitter for this kind of schedule. For example, my husband and I are prioritizing a goal of one scheduled date night per month and my mom will be our regular babysitter who is aware of this schedule.
These moments of connection help remind you why you’re a team in the first place.
4. Share Parenting Responsibilities
One of the biggest sources of conflict in parenting couples is the imbalance of responsibilities. It’s important to discuss who handles what, adjust as needed, and be flexible when circumstances change.
Ask each other:
• “What do you feel like you’re carrying alone right now?”
• “What tasks could we share or alternate?”
• “Do we need to hire help, like a babysitter or cleaner, to ease the load?”
A shared approach not only reduces resentment, but also strengthens your partnership.
5. Be Patient with Each Other
Parenting is hard work, and both you and your partner are likely to feel stretched thin at times. Remember that you’re both navigating this journey together and will make mistakes along the way. When tensions arise:
• Take a step back and breathe before responding.
• Assume good intentions—your partner isn’t your adversary.
• Focus on problem-solving rather than assigning blame.
6. Model Healthy Relationships for Your Kids
Your marriage is one of the first relationships your children will observe closely. By managing expectations and prioritizing your partnership, you’re teaching your kids valuable lessons about communication, compromise, and love.
It’s okay for them to see you work through disagreements respectfully or prioritize time with each other—they’ll learn that healthy relationships take effort and intentionality.
7. Don’t Forget to Take Care of Yourself
You’re still your own individual! Balancing marriage and parenting often means putting yourself last, but neglecting self-care can lead to burnout. When you’re running on empty, it’s harder to show up as a supportive partner or an engaged parent.
Prioritize small moments of self-care, like:
• Enjoying a hobby.
• Spending time with friends.
• Seeking therapy or coaching if needed.
Are you in need of some mommy friends, friends you know will just “get it”? Check out Milwaukee’s largest moms social club, Babbling Babes. Events and gatherings include mommy and me play dates, mom’s night out, book clubs, and much more!
By taking care of yourself, you’re better equipped to take care of your family.
8. Seek Help When Needed
If balancing marriage and parenting feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek support. Whether it’s counseling, parent coaching, or leaning on trusted friends and family, getting help is a sign of strength, not failure.
Marriage and parenting are both lifelong commitments that require effort and adaptation. By managing expectations, staying connected, and supporting each other, you can build a relationship that not only weathers the challenges of parenting, but thrives because of them.
What strategies have helped you balance marriage and parenting? Share in the comments—I’d love to hear your perspective!
